on being present

monday musing: may 22nd

Long time no see! The school year is coming to a close, I have a new job that I love and I’m spending time with friends. And therefore, writing has fallen behind.

My friend Jessica Ketwaroo and I have been a part of many classroom discussions about being present throughout this first year of social work studies. But how do we really show up for each other? Jessica reflects on her month of sobriety below:

On April 15, I have decided to take a break from drinking alcohol. It was a spur of the moment, after I went to brunch with a friend. The spur has been on a stretch of 3 weeks now. During my irrational thinking, I came to the realization that I correlated having a good time with the amount of alcohol I consumed for the night. Alcohol became the determining factor to the joy in my life. Even my Instagram profile picture is me holding a wine glass. I went from drinking about 2-3 IPA beers a weekend to not drinking at all. This task I had given myself was much harder than I could have imagined. 

During the time of my sobriety, several questions came up for me:

1. Was my issue with alcohol an actual issue?

2. Can I have enough self-determination to remain sober the entire month? (I wanted to break my oath several times this month).

3. Was I using alcohol to drown away my feelings from the week? 

I’ve been reading on social media that we, as a society, have made alcohol socially acceptable. It has become so dire in our community that we don’t even realize how much we depend on alcohol. Everything we accomplish or complete is rewarded with a drink. Long work day? Let’s go to happy hour. At a baseball game? Let’s get a beer. Catching up with a friend? Go to a bar. Great weather outside? Let’s get drunk.  

Not drinking for 3 weeks, thus far, has allowed me to be more present. Being drunk from alcohol creates a haze in my mind, personality and environment. While it has always put me in a good, loving and affectionate mood, it also fought against feeling heavy, sleepy and tired. But these 3 weeks, I go to bed earlier, I don’t wake up with a headache, and I’m not throwing up after coming home.  I have to give grace to my partner for continuously reminding me, how proud I would be with myself after the month is over. 

Maybe cutting back from alcohol has its perks.